Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Well...oops!

No tatting for a little while. I did an oops. Monday night I was slicing bread for supper. That's not all I sliced. Really, I can't imagine how my thumb came to be there -- not at all, really! What was it thinking?! I think thumbs must not have any brains -- at least mine don't. My sister took me and my thumb down to the "InstaCare" (what a misnomer -- we were there more than an hour and dinner was ruined). First they made me wait behind curtain number 2. This guy whose razor hasn't worked for at least three days must have been the winner. Oh -- nope. He was the doctor. He filled my thumb full of lead...er...no,no, he filled it full of some kind of numbing agent. He did it with a NEEDLE (shudder) . Sadist. Then he demanded someone set up a suture kit for him. (He apparently couldn't open the cupboard and take out a box and put it on the tray by himself. I hoped it was a sign he was just uppity -- not inept. He was gone forever. I thought might be thinking the box would open itself if he waited long enough. Nope. He finally came back, then spent 10 minutes complaining that it was some kind of disposable kit. The nurse told him they were out of the regular kits and this was all they had left. His response, "Well, that's not a good enough answer." What kind of answer could he want? They all ran away from home? There really are some of the others, but we don't like your patient? The others are being saved for the best doctors? Doesn't matter -- that's the only answer they had to give him. Grumbling, he decided he could use "that piece of crap". Great. I want my thumb fixed with crap -- oh, yeah. Still, fix it he did. Stitched it right up, and tied the knots with a couple of hemostats. It was beautiful to watch him tie those knots -- 30 years experience, he said. "Wow," says I, "I'd certainly like to have a couple of those hemostats." "Why would you want 'em?" he mumbles. "Oh, because I can use them with my tatting!" "Whazzat?" he says. Heathen. I told him it was lace making with a bunch of little knots, and I could use those for short thread joins and stuff. He looked at me like I was speaking Ancient Egyptian. (I could have told him tatting wasn't that old.) Still, when he finished he told the nurse to give me the hemostats -- since they were disposable anyway (maybe they melt in the autoclave?). They didn't look disposable to me -- see:

I should get the stitches out next Monday. Plenty of time to still demonstrate tatting at the State Fair!

15 comments:

Valerie said...

OMG, Marty! Your accident really felt serious. Did you mean you slice off your thumb?! You are so brave... with the strange doctor sewing back your thumb.

Please take care. Speedy recovery.

Krystle said...

"I went to the Insta care and all I got was this hemostat......."


Well, it's more useful than a T-shirt right? :-) You poor thing. At least it happened after fair time!

Miranda said...

I'm so sorry about your thumb, and sorry you had such a miserable excuse for a doctor.

Congratulations on acquiring the hemostats, though. At least you've gotten some good out of the experience. I work in a hospital, but I use my hemostats at home way more often than I do at work. In addition to joining short threads like you mentioned, they are also good if you're sewing in the ends and find that you've tatted just a little too tightly- you can use the hemostats to gently push the needle through. I can't even remember all the other household tasks I've used them for, but fishing out things I've dropped down the drain, untying stubborn knots (not tatting), and clearing paper jams from the printer come to mind. They are great for all kinds of tasks where your fingers are too large, and I highly recommend everyone get themselves a pair! And BTW, those "disposable" ones are exactly the same as the nondisposable ones.

Sending you wishes for a speedy recovery!

Lace-lovin' Librarian - Diane said...

Bedside manner is everything... there's nothing worse than a crabby doctor! You'll have to let us know how those hemostats work out!

Trayna said...

I shouldn't laugh but can't help myself having worked with doctors for many years I can just "see" it now LOL! However, I really do hope your thumb gets better quick.

***Jon**** said...

Ouch! i hope it will heal quickly and you can get back to tatting soon.

yarnplayer said...

What a crabby doctor - but he knew how to fix you up, that's what matters. And, you've got some cool new tools! I wish you a very speedy recovery.

Suzanne said...

Were it not for scoring some hemostats, you might have been better off stitching yourself up! Surely we needle/shuttle workers are just as nimble fingered as your crabby slowcare doctor.

Fox said...

I give you a HUGE thumbs up for that tale! You 'nailed' it - the doc is a sadist! He should be bound with thread - no HDT for him and gagged with a Boye shuttle. What a way to deal with staff. At least you got he haemostat!

Hope you are feeling better!
Fox : ))

Gina said...

LOL! Years ago when I was getting ready to do my clinical for classes, getting a hemostat was such a big deal! I even had my initials engraved so they wouldn't get mixed up with someone else's or worse yet....STOLEN!

Glad you have a sense of humor about it.

Tatskool said...

A great ending to an ouch of a story. Hope it doesn't still hurt too much.

Ridgetatter said...

Was he, perhaps, auditioning for a spot on "HOUSE" where being a curmudgeon doctor is in vogue! I'm so sorry dinner was ruined and thumb was mindless enough to slip beneath the blade. Well, really, shame on that thumb.
Just before we left for Tucson, I did something really stupid (will tell you later) that ended in a 1 1/2" glass cut on the inside of my thumb (near tendons). Took forever to get it to stop bleeding (seemed like). But Loyal put a butterfly bandage upon it and it healed by the time we came home from Tucson Heart Hospital.
I KNOW how those cuts thrum after the Lidocain wears off. At least you did get a couple of hemostats out of the ordeal.
XXX and kisses on the boo boo Bev

TattingChic said...

Hope your owie gets better soon! You have a fabulous sense of humor! Hey stats are useful for so many things! I need to dig mine out of my closet and put them with my tatting stuff, LOL!

Melissa said...

Wow! Only an hour at the Instacare-- you got out fast!!!

Liyarra said...

OOOh marty - what a find - nice pick up - hemostat good!!! great for holding stuff when tatting!!!!!
Some der of a nurse - there ARE plastic ones!!!
Cutting your finger to get one is a bit extreme tho don't ya think?